Last night we enjoyed a particular perk of the real estate industry: making new friends.

As a real estate brokerage team, we help people buy and sell homes. Sometimes this can be a real emotional roller coaster for them and therefore as part of our job we are tasked to help smooth out the process as much as possible. We are there to lend an ear and then sometimes shoulder a good helping of that emotion right alongside our clients. Hence, the best real estate brokers are always people-people as much as a process-people. On top of that, buyers and sellers are not the only ones that need hand-holding. Large transactions, like a home, involve a lot of people and a lot of process. A broker coordinates with, and yes, sometimes hand-holds, contractors, lenders, inspectors, government officials, and more.

For us this has led to a growing list of friendships over the years—a list that is particularly eclectic since, as you could probably guess, everyone from every walk of life buys or sells a home at some point in their lives.

Last night we attended the housewarming party (and birthday celebration) for one of our clients, a client who had their own share of emotional turmoil throughout the process, but with whom we really hit it off.

We showed up at 4pm for the party on a Saturday evening, which was perfect for us. (We're getting older and when the sun-goes down . . . well, let's just say we don't put on the dancing shoes very often anymore.)

The food was great. The guests were tremendous. And it turned out a bunch of them went to high school together, which was pretty neat considering our high school friends live far far away (save one, "Hey, Karyn!").

The night wore on with Todd trying his best (unsuccessfully) to pry embarassing, or at least funny, stories out of these people who clearly know each other very well. That was when the karaoke started up.

Now, at any party when karaoke cranks up, a number of things will happen. A chunk of the group will immediately attempt to run away, while the remainder cower in the corner. But there will always be a small contingent of brave fools (er, brave souls) who step forward with a devil-may-care look in their eyes (usually lubricated by an adult beverage) and confidently grab the microphone. One or two people will kick things off with a rendition of John Denver, Cher, Eninem, or the Eagles. One person will clearly be "the great singer" while the others will be merely enthusiastic. At this point, there will come a uncomfortable moment where these over-confident singers will harass the folks cowering in the corner. The corner-dwellers will defer, cower some more, defer, and then one will eventually cave with, "Fine. Okay, damn it. I'll sing."

We were among the crew that cowered in the corner. But we knew we were in for something special. You see, one of the homeowners sings opera. Like . . . The Four Tenors; loud Italian and all that; opera. We were thinking, they want to karaoke and here's a dude that loves opera. We could be in for something interesting.

Geez, folks! Did you know (we didn't) that you can now browse YouTube, search for "opera karaoke" and WHAM!, you get opera with sing-a-long lyrics! You can do this for anything now. Who knew?

Anyway, our new friend did not disappoint. Before we knew it, he was belting out something rather impressive in Italian (we think it was Italian). It should be noted that prior to this—and this is going to make us sound like old fogies—a bunch of them were singing to hip hop where the lyrics and melody were indecipherable to us but obviously not to them. We should add that the average age of this crowd was 10 to 15 years younger.

So, there he stood, owning the room, our client and new friend, belting out something in Italian. Impressive to the end. The next song was queued up and . . . Wait, what? A duet? Our host for the evening and one of the guests stepped right into an operatic duet. Surreal.

And they were good! Like, really good. We were floored. We knew that people have all kinds of diverse interests, and sure, a love for opera is not all that uncommon, but we think it'd be safe to say that the percentage of the population that can actually sing opera is relatively small. Multiple people? At the same party? Performing opera-karaoke? Very very uncommon.

The two opera singers sat down. Acting all like, "this is just normal karaoke and who's next?" Yeah, right. Who could follow that? we thought. But then the next karaoke singer stepped up, more or less expressed the same nervous sentiment, and then . . . she too sang opera! What?

Now, we thought, okay, either (a) we were being punked, (b) we stumbled upon a coven of opera-witches, (c) opera was the new craze and we were just unaware, or (d) the high school and opera connection was not mere coincidence.

Side note: We did look for the rock we may have been hiding under and didn't really find it. Maybe because we should have looked up?

As compelling a story as stumbling upon a coven of opera-witches would be, possibility "d" was the right answer as you probably guessed. It turns out these high school pals attended a school that offered opera as a musical elective. Twenty years later, they still get together and sing occasionally. How incredibly cool is that! Hey teachers, pay heed: your influence lasts a lifetime.

Needless to say, we did not even attempt to join the operatic sing-a-long (nor the hip-hop sing-a-long for that matter), but Monica did perform a beautiful rendition of "Blue" (LeAnn Rimes). Monica has a wonderful voice. Todd, on the other hand, has a singing voice that is the opposite of wonderful and did not want to sully the vibe, so he stayed planted well within the safe confines of the corner of the room. Hearing Todd's voice would be like finding a fly in the wedding soup.

The party continued like nothing unusual happened. The fact that opera happened was hardly acknowledged. But then, we suppose, an evening like this was not unusual for these folks.

What a lovely and surprising evening, and in the process we made some new friends. It really served as a reminder that the world is a diverse and interesting place. This job in particular puts you in contact with so many great folks that leave you with a lasting impression. What a night. Get out there and take an interest in other people. You too may stumble on a coven of opera-witches in the process.

So, you've heard about this whole bullet journal thing but don't know a ton about it. In this article, I will walk you through the basics and demonstrate how I set myself up for the new year (2020).

Bullet journaling has taken the productivity world by storm. At its most basic, it's a methodology for ordering your life that can be as simple as you want it to be or as complex. It shuns the rigidity and complexity of past systems (ahem, FranklinCovey), and adapts to you as much as you to it. After years of one system after another—and often no system—I adopted bullet journaling in May of 2019 and I never looked back. As I have boldly stated (with only a smidgeon of added hyperbole) on more than a few social media posts: bullet journaling has changed my life.

The Bullet Journal Method was conceived in 2013 by designer Ryder Carroll after years of struggling to align his need for a more organized life with the challenges associated to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

This post intends only to show my initial setup for the year 2020. If you need a better broad-brush overview of what bullet journaling actually is and the basic methodology, perhaps you would be better served by watching these two videos first (the second one particularly rocks):

1. Bullet Journal: Start Here by user Bullet Journal (4 minutes). The Learn page on the Bullet Journal website is also a great summary (and links to the same video). Additionally, consider buying his book. It's: (a) a good read, and (b) a great think piece on productivity and introspection. Here's a bit about what the book dives into. Thank you, Ryder!
2. THE BULLET JOURNAL METHOD by Ryder Carroll | Core Message by user Productivity Game (10 minutes). This video is awesome!

Warning: A search for bullet journaling on the internet will quickly lead you down a road teeming with scrapbookers, artists, and obsessive compulsives—folks that value aesthetics over function, or merely 'obsess'. These folks have somewhat skewed the core message of what bullet journaling is all about. Don't be intimidated! The core message of bullet journaling is productivity. A journal can be beautiful or it can be purely functional. It can even be both. But in the end, getting stuff done is the primary point of the bullet journalling method. The whole point of bullet journaling is to be easy, efficient, and useful. Bullet journaling as a productive tool should be nearly effortless. That being said, make it your own. BuJo customization is boundless.

The secret to bullet journaling may be its simplicity, but also its ability to help a practitioner be more intentional and mindful. It combines the concept of a planner, notebook, and a journal all in one old-school analogue: a paper journal. It doesn't necessarily replace things like detailed calendaring and project-planning tools, but instead augments them.

Basic Tools

The base requirements to get started are trivial: a notebook and a pen. But since this is something you will be using all the time and carrying around with you everywhere, I recommend a higher-quality notebook and pen. Now that BuJo (bullet journaling) has taken off, notebooks specifically designed to serve the BuJo-community have also flooded the market. Here are my current favorite notebook and pen as well an alternative for each:

Notebook

• Favorite: Exceed A5 Dotted Journal — "Bullet Journal" and "100 GSM" is on the label. Originally a Walmart-only brand. $9 at Walmart.

• Alternative: Leuchtturm 1917 A5 Dotted Notebook — 80 GSM. This is often the #1 pick by reviewers. $20 from Amazon. You can even buy a branded version of this from bulletjournal.com.

  Ironically neither one of these comes with a pen-loop. I wish they did. Last year, I made my own and it worked out really well. This year, I will probably do the same. You can also buy one separately if you like.

Pen

• Favorite: Parker Jotter Gel — $20 available at just about any office or stationary supply store.
• Alternative: Pilot G2 Gel — $12 (and cheaper) available at just about any office or stationary supply store.

Useful Extras

• Correction Tape
• 0.5 Mechanical Pencil and Retractable Eraser
• Faber-Castell Pitt Artist Pens — India Ink (4 sizes, black). $8 available at just about any office or stationary supply store.

Ultimately, a composition notebook and any ol' pencil or pen will do, but high-quality supplies tend to make the experience more enjoyable, which increases the likelihood that the habit will stick. The notebook can be lined, graph-ruled, or dotted; but dotted notebooks have become quite popular because they are a great compromise between the need to compose text and the need to draw things . . . all without being overly intrusive.

The Core Principles

The core concept behind the Bullet Journal Method is "rapid logging": itemized to-dos (tasks), events, and notes that are set apart from free-form notes and journaling. Most everything is collected in temporal views of months, weeks (for some), and days; with other things broken out into more topical views called Collections. Log items are not necessarily fixed in place: as tasks don't get done, a decision is made to either cancel them or migrate them to another planning moment. This continuous exercise in introspection and decision-making is, in my humble opinion, the most powerful and important element of the bullet journal methodology.

The symbology of rapid logging

The notebook is broken into units of organization

1. Index — as notes and journal entries are expanded over time, an index is also developed. This index exists to reduce the need for ad hoc searches throughout the notebook. A concise and useful index also frees up the structure of the notebook: a unit of logging or journaling can be stuck anywhere in the notebook and an updated index used to find it again.
2. Future Log — a month-by-month summary of tasks and events.
3. Monthly Logs + Daily Logs — each month begins with a summary of the month ahead (usually two or more pages) and is then followed by individual daily logs. As each month arrives, tasks are migrated from the Future Log to this month's log and then fleshed out as tasks, goals, and events. As each day is encountered, tasks are migrated from the month view and further fleshed out for that particular day. Each month and day is tackled as they come. (Note, some folks also use a Weekly Log. I don't but probably would if I still worked in a corporate environment.)
4. Collections — for informational pieces, projects, or complex tasks, a collection may be appropriate. A collection aggregates large swathes of ideas and notes that have a similar topic or theme into a multi-page spread. For example, I have 1001 things to accomplish for the farm this coming year, therefore I created a collection called "Farm Tasks" and then another called "Farm Thoughts and Ideas".

A core principle here is that pre-planned items only exist in the Future Log, and maybe in a Collection. The rest of the journal is fleshed out as you get to each moment in time. A Monthly Log is only fleshed out when you get to that month. Each Daily Log is only fleshed out the night before that day begins (and further fleshed out during the next day). That is: Every night, I prep the next day's Daily Log. At the end of every month, I prep the next month's Monthly Log. At the end of every year, I prep a whole new Bullet Journal to include the twelve months of a Future Log. Tasks and events are migrated forward in time and expanded as required. Future planning lands in the Future Log.

Note: If you have COPIOUS future-planning to perform (consumed by meetings and projects like I used to be?), then the Future Log probably needs to be expanded and Weekly Logs (in addition to the Monthly Logs) may make sense. That being said, personally, I'd have to explore how much of my meeting schedule I would want to track in a Bullet Journal. If you need to track a billion meetings like I used to do, a digital calendar is required anyway. That being said, I do tend to write out my next day's meeting schedule every night in the Daily Log. The Daily Log is for tracking detail and not really the Future, Monthly, or Weekly Log.

My Journal Layout for 2020

Last year, I winged it (but still followed the core principles) and my journaling experience turned out be pretty spectacular. This year, armed with the knowledge of 2019, I did a bit of pre-planning. During the planning process, I initially penciled everything in. When satisfied I inked everything over. It took a little time, but my 2020 journal will start off just a little bit cleaner than my 2019 one.

For the purpose of using my journal as a demonstration device, I included example data (tasks, events, etc.) in pencil in the photos. There is not a ton of detail, but it should be enough for clue folks into what is going on. Though you are free to use a pencil (for example, I will be using a pencil for the Bill Collections pages until the format settles down), I recommend using ink as you update your bullet journal throughout the year. It forces more thoughtful introspection and won't tend to fade over time. Made a mistake? Scribble through the error and move on. A bullet journal doesn't need to be perfectly neat and tidy. In fact, learning to accept this imperfection would likely be beneficial as well.

The Notebook and Pen

As I mentioned previously, I really like the Exceed A5 Bullet Journal. It can be found at most Walmarts. The pen is a Parker Jotter Gel, but anything will do.

The First Few Pages

Stick your name and phone number in the front. There are a lot of Good Samaritans out there, but keep in mind that sensitive data should not be written in your journal—passwords, treasure maps, etc. Side note: Exceed's branding on that first page leaves much to be desired.

Next we come to the "Index" (many notebooks come with pages already dedicated to it). I have some pre-planned pages within the journal and have already added them to the index. As the journal grows, so will the index. For example, if the two pages I allocated to the "Writing Ideas" collection is not enough, I will pick two more pages somewhere in the journal and update the index entry so that it might look something like "Writing Ideas 18-19, 63-64".

For 2020, I estimate I will probably not add more collections than fit on that first page, so I decided to simply make that first page of the index all collections. Of course, if I go beyond that one index page, so be it.

The second page (and onward) will have everything else. I.e., anything I want to keep a reference to that is not a collection will go here. (Not pictured are two more blank index pages provided by the notebook manufacturer.)

You may notice some splotches of white-out. The notebook manufacturer has Pages and Subject at the top of those columns. I prefer the pages off to the right of the entry, so I blanked-out the header labels. I will use that narrow left column for qualifiers like F (farm), W (writing), etc.

Key and Dimensions

This is my journal and not to be used by anyone else. But for the sake of uniformity (and convenience) I like to write down my own key and plot out basic page dimensions. These are for my own reference and will help maintain some consistency. Many people don't bother with these pages, but even a short chart of symbols can be convenient.

Future Log

Getting the Future Log to match anyone's particular needs takes some experimentation. I like dividing the pages into thirds for each month. The Future Log is for big to-dos and events whereas more detail gets broken down in the monthly and daily logs (and the weekly log that some people use). I suspect that if I still worked a corporate job, I would use 1/2 a page for each month or maybe even have months spanned across two pages but cut into thirds (three months per two pages). I would probably explore using weekly logs as well. The great thing about a bullet journal is that if it gets all screwed up, I can just redo it somewhere else in the notebook. Heck, I have even cut out pages before. I have glued two-page spreads together because they were disasters of design and planning. The index is there so nothing gets lost. And, of course, attaching a permanent bookmark (a bit of tape) is super handy. I digress.

The point of the Future Log is to track big events and to-dos. As a new month is approached, tasks are migrated and events are mirrored from the Future Log (and from prior months if left incomplete) to the monthly + daily logs.

One may notice that nearly every item in my Future Log is an event. There is no need to denote them as such with the ⚬ symbol. Anything that doesn't begin with a dot or a dash is an event. Generally, my format is "day of month" then "event summary". One may also see an "R" for real estate, "W" for writing, "F" for farm, etc. The only tasks that I personally put in the Future Log are really large ones (projects and such). That being said, I change my mind about Future Log formatting all the time.

Collections

Some collections are more task-driven. Others primarily contain bulleted notes or even free-form text. Some are tables of data. Most are a mix of things. Collections are where whole piles of data about a particular subject are aggregated that you may then act upon, scattering tasks throughout a timeline.

For example, I keep a budget elsewhere, but in my journal I like to keep two listings of bills just for reference. One collection is for monthly bills, the other for non-monthly bills (like that magazine subscription I renew every two years or my annual life-insurance premium payment). I could just re-list all bills every single month in each "Month Log", but I would find that silly, personally. Keep them all in a collection for reference, and if you need to take action on any of them, only then add that task to the running monthly task list, which will then migrate to a daily log at some point as a reminder for it to be completed. I will do that for all taxation tasks, for example.

Similarly, I plan to track expenses (two pages) and income (two pages—not shown) within the journal. Not all expenses and income will be tracked, but enough to keep a ballpark idea of where we are in any given month (we also keep proper books). This will serve as a summary for all of our businesses in one location. We'll see how valuable this is (I'm skeptical that it will be). If it isn't, I will scribble out those pages and ditch them.

I will track a long LONG running list of tasks for my "Farm Tasks" collection (not shown) and a more free-form "Farm Thoughts & Ideas" collection. Like all ideas-oriented colletions, I will explore ideas in my daily log and then eventually distill it to the collection where I will also include the page number leading back to that day of exploration and brainstorming.

For my writing life, if I have an idea, I will usually explore it free-form in my current day's log (as before), but eventually I will try to distill it down and reenter it in the writing ideas collection. If I come across some awesome new word or phrase, I will stick it in my "Words, Phrases, Random Things" collection (not shown).

The "Good Things" collection will track events that I want to reflect upon. And the "Gloom, Despair, Agony" collection will track anything that causes me illness or pain (migraines, back pain, sad events, tick bites, etc.). You will notice this is a more chart-like tracker. My doctor found this thoroughly helpful in 2019.

I made a vow in 2019 to be a more caring correspondent. I.e., I will write letters (actual letters) and send cards to people. You know, like a full-grown adult. I started keeping tabs on this last year and it was super helpful. I will do it again this coming year. It is very helpful to see that "Crap! Eve wrote me two months ago and I haven't responded!"

We own something like 30 domain names. And they are registered with a couple different services. This collection is an experiment. I want to track what we have and when they expire and where they are registered—all on one page—without having to look it all up on a computer.

Family medical history: I need (we all need) a detailed family medical history record. Every time I go to the doctor I remember one additional tidbit about my families past. Even then, I'm sure I don't really have the correct information. This is an important to-do for me this year.

Monthly + Daily Logs

The "Month Log" for any given month is a two-page+ spread and the spread for that month is not created until you approach it at the end of the previous month. The first page assigns events (and major date-sensitive tasks) to a precise date listed to the left side. The second page will keep a running list of tasks for the month. Events to the left (1st page). Tasks to the right (2nd page).

I added a writer's word-count chart to that second page as well. If I run out of room in the process of adding all my tasks, I will probably change how I format the page spread for the next month and/or just add a third page.

The events on the first page are initially populated from events listed in the Future Log. I don't mark events as migrated. I just copy them over. Events happen (or are canceled). Tasks move around in time and are completed, or not.

The running tasks list on the second page is initially populated from migrated tasks from the Future Log and tasks that were not completed the prior month. Then as the month rolls along, more tasks and events may arrive as side-effects of meetings, collections that are fleshed out, and probably a ton of items generated on the fly. If you migrate a task from elsewhere, they should be marked as migrated at their original page and then copied to the destination (> if scheduled forward and < if scheduled backward). IMPORTANT: Distill, summarize, and trim the fat from these tasks and events before they land on that page two of the "Month Log".

If during the course of the month something gets punted to a different month, migrate it back to the Future Log making sure it lands in the appropriate spot. Or you leave it in place and migrated it when you are creating the running task list for the new month. I play it by ear whether it seems appropriate to send it back to the Future Log or just leave it to get curated during a new Monthly Log setup.

The Daily Log. A bullet journal is fleshed out on a daily basis. Generally, you don't plot out days in advance. That's what the current month's "Month Log" is for; and for other months, the Future Log. At the end of each day, I create the next day's entry and take some time (10 to 20 minutes) to map out what I intend to do that day. Then in the morning (and throughout the day) I revisit that entry.

Only one day is shown in this photo—and it is not detailed enough, admittedly—but think of it this way: a daily entry can be of any length and detail—it may be ten lines long; ten pages long; or even sometimes simply skipped. It's all up to you and how busy or detailed that day was. A day may include meeting notes, though depending on the meeting and your note-taking requirements, if meetings often generate copious notes, perhaps write those in another notebook and then, at the end of the day, distill them into that day's log or a collection and then funnel out the tasks to the "Future Log," your digital calendar, and the current month's task list. Whatever helps you maintain the organization.

Do you like to keep a diary? A bullet journal can serve that purpose too. Check out this video from Ryder Carroll: Journaling vs Bullet Journaling. He introduces a + symbol for directing attention to the narrative found on the page.

If the notebook fills up before the year is over, just start a new journal and continue where you left off. If your work is filling up the journal and your personal stuff is more manageable, maybe consider using one journal for work and one for personal use. I find it more helpful to keep everything in one place. It offers more continuity, and in the end, I am one person with 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year.

Organize Your Life

The Bullet Journal Method can help bring order to the chaos of your life. Heck, the mere act of attempting to write this stuff down will move the needle. Get in the habit and it can be life-changing. Bullet journaling does not require expensive tools, nor it does require rigidity of process; but it does ask you to be consistent and to think "year, month, day" zooming in and out within those temporal views.

Beyond initial setup and maybe each month's setup, note-taking and journaling in this way should feel rather effortless. You have to keep on top of things anyway, why not do it with a bit more intention and mindfulness. The Bullet Journal Method can help you do that.

I hope you found this article helpful, or at the very least maybe it gave you a few ideas. I encourage everyone to give the Bullet Journal Method a try. As I flesh out 2020's journal, I will likely write a follow up to this article, so . . . stay tuned.

We LOVE dogs. We have had so many wonderful dogs over the course of our lives, both throughout childhood and young adulthood, and now in our married life. Dogs are bundles of joy, energy, and love. We have found—for us—that there is no better being on this earth than a dog. Dogs are indeed better humans than humans.

In our current professional life, we—both the Tandem Realty we, and our affiliate, the Navigate Realty we—have been donating a portion of our income to a great organization based out of Raleigh: Second Chance Pet Adoptions. They are the oldest no-kill rescue organization in Wake County, and their humans are amazing people.

Just a couple weeks ago, our affiliate company got the opportunity to go visit the rescue's Dog Program Manager at home, with her twelve+ (!!) fosters. Our mission was simply to shoulder just a bit of the care for that day. Walk dogs, play with dogs, love on dogs. What a great day! Happy tails all around, both canine and human alike.

I (this is Monica) was particularly taken with one little love muffin, Phoenix (aka, Shortbread, as my husband has taken to calling her). She is a terrier mix and as sweet as can be. We walked; we talked; we snuggled. My insane love for dogs took over, and I wanted to take her home on the spot. Alas, we are not quite ready yet for another dog in the house. You see, we have experienced a lot of heartbreak over the past ten months with losing two of our three dogs. We have not yet recovered, and don't want to jump into adding another just yet until we are all ready—us, and our current dog, Lady. It was hard to say goodbye to Phoenix that day, but so it would have to be.

And then a week later, we received an email from Laura, the Dog Program Manager . . .

Laura was going on vacation for two weeks, and she was looking for people to lighten the load for her pet-sitters. She needed people to take in a dog for those two weeks. I saw it as a sign and jumped at the opportunity. Even my ever-wonderful husband chuckled and said, "Why not?". I emailed Laura back right away and we made arrangements for me to pick up Phoenix the night before she left.

Problem: our current dog, Lady, is a bit dominant. She is not a "dog's dog." She is a "people's dog." I had to make sure she would be okay with this arrangement. And of course Phoenix's feelings had to be taken into consideration. She too is also a somewhat dominant female. In a moment of inspiration, we decided to take Lady to Laura's house to let them meet on somewhat neutral terms (outside and not at our home), and then we'd play it by ear. We walked them together and then let then run around her yard for an hour. They did fine! We were outside, where there was nothing to protect, so all was well. Feeling hopeful, we went for it and put them in the car together—Lady in front; Phoenix in back. Smooth car ride and both as quiet as church mice.

Now the real test: how would Lady react when Phoenix came inside her house? Answer: like it was nothing! They walked in side by side and have been perfectly behaved towards each other ever since. It's been nearly a week, and we have had no issues. Introducing them the way we did made all the difference. It helps that Phoenix is a nearly perfect dog. She is better behaved than any dog we have ever owned, anyway (for the most part). And LOVES. TO. CUDDLE. Did I mention how sweet she is?

We even took her to a friend's birthday party a couple days ago to test drive here with their dog. They had the best time playing in the yard. Running at full speed—back and forth, back and forth—for hours. She got in the car to come home and . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . fell fast asleep.

I don't know what is going to happen at the end of our two weeks with her. Do we adopt? Are we ready? Should we wait? So many questions. I feel ready, and even though she is smaller than what I prefer in a dog (about 40 pounds), I already love her. How could I not? She's nearly perfect.

Todd is another story. He loves her . . . because she is a dog. And an amazing one at that. But is he ready? He wasn't a week ago. And he might not yet be. And I can't and won't force him to be. Thyla, one of our recent great losses, was his best buddy. They went everywhere together, and the pain of losing her was just so very enormous. It was an emotional loss for both of us, but particularly for him. He had saved her (Thyla was a dumped/abused dog). And I think, in some ways, she had saved him just as much as he saved her. So, I have to tred very carefully. I have to consider what is best for everyone, especially my husband and Phoenix.

Regardless, Phoenix deserves a wonderful home. She is amazing, and I find it so hard to believe she has not yet been adopted. She will make someone very happy. I would like for that to be me . . . us. But if not, someone will find her to be an absolute treasure. She's a keeper.

. . . . . .

If you love animals and wish to help in some way, please visit Second Chance Pet Adoptions website to find out more about how to donate, become a volunteer, or adopt.

When we started this blog, the goal was to keep it as grounded as possible. "Keeping it real" if you will—be it real estate-, farm-, or us-related. Today, I (Monica) am going to take a break from "real estate" and instead focus on "us". Well, "me" actually. Raw and real. Here goes.

Fighting My Genetics

Like many women and men my age, I have struggled for years with weight. After high school a thousand years ago, I found myself less active, other than what little was achieved by working on my feet all the time: waitressing or dealing cards¹. At some point after moving to North Carolina, I found myself working as a Program Director for a gym. I loved that gym. I lived in that gym. I worked out nearly every day, and buoyed by a really strict diet, kept myself in pretty great shape.

But then I moved.

Falling off the Wagon

After relocating, distance became a factor, and that both ended my fitness career and habit. I.e., I did what most people do when their fitness lives are disrupted. I quit. I quit working out, quit being active in general, and focused on the next phase of my life.

Adrift

For the next long while I maintained a normal active life: an active life, but not a life focused on me, my health, or my weight. Over time, it got the better of me and I let my lack of fitness get out of control. It wasn't like I ate fast food every day, or desserts, or anything obviously "bad", but I also didn't monitor my health and I certainly didn't eat with any intention.

Disgust, Experimentation, and a Discovery

So, one day I looked up, and was disgusted by what I allowed to happen, and decided enough was enough. For the next several years, I struggled with diet after diet, but then I stumbled upon something called Ketogenic dieting. I'm sure many of you have at least heard of it by now, but let me attempt to describe the basics. It's basically a diet that advocates low carbohydrates, a moderate amount of protein, and—brace yourself—high fat! Yes, high fat. I know what you are thinking. How, in all things that are holy, is that even possible! "I've heard of that diet. All you eat is bacon and butter! That's not healthy!" If only! Bacon and butter! Yum. Well . . . no. Let's at least set this aside: a diet of bacon and butter is NOT the ketogenic diet.

Yes, I do eat bacon and butter, but do so only sparingly. I eat high quality meats (lamb, chicken, beef, fish etc), high quality fats (avocados, almonds, the occasional cheese, etc.), and good quality carbs that have a ton of fiber (broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, and a favorite, brussels sprouts). I eat no sugar, breads, pastas, potatoes, rice or the like. But of course, I occasionally cheat. Last Friday I met up with friends and had sushi. It is a perfect food, and I could die a happy woman if I could eat it every day. But, in real life, rice is bad, and sushi is expensive . . . so that spoils that plan! Hrmph!

I can hear it already, I know lots of you will say, "no . . . rice can't be bad. It's rice!" But hear me out. Just 1/2 cup of rice has 22 grams of carbs (with 0 grams of fiber). And most people can easily eat 1 cup or more in a sitting. I eat under 20 grams of net-carbs per day (net is total carbs minus fiber). Most types of rice are quickly digested into sugars that can result in elevated blood sugar levels and lead to an increase in hunger. As one can imagine, this carbohydrate:fiber imbalance extends well beyond rice. The examples I listed above spike insulin levels and increase the pangs of hunger whereas the goal is to feel satiated after a meal, for an extended period of time, not to be hungry again in 2 hours.

This is where ketogenic eating comes in for me. I have struggled for years even when following all the conventional "healthy eating" wisdom. I simply wasn't making any progress. It didn't help that my commitment to healthier eating was often intermittent, but still. Once I heard about "keto" one Friday afternoon, I spent the weekend reading and researching. It was super intriguing. That following Monday, I was ready. I jumped right in—full force!

Frankly, following a more ketogenic diet seems to be quite challenging for a lot of people. But I found it rather easy. Going from a previous diet that most would consider extremely healthy to a ketogenic diet wasn't a giant leap. It became more of a tweak—taking out sugars, potatoes, and bread (diet) and then tracking everything I ate (intentionality).

A Breakthrough

So, there I was on my new journey; happily chugging along; and guess what? it worked! I lost 7 pounds in the first week. What‽ I couldn't believe it. Then I kept losing. Over the next 8 months I lost 50 pounds in total. Phew! That's a lot! But, it worked, and I did it. Nothing I had ever done before helped me in the way this has helped me.

But that's not all. Sure, I needed to lose weight, but the added benefits I received have been so wonderful. I visited my doctor around the 3-month mark. After a panel of tests, she exclaimed that I was in impeccable health. In fact, my bloodwork had improved dramatically. It read as better than the ideal. We got the same results for my blood pressure. My blood pressure was never overly high, but I now steadily rock a 117/75 (I donate platelets every month, so I am well aware of my BP). My doctor was elated, and encouraged me to "keep doing what you are doing." Clearly I found what works for me.

In addition to all that, some of my more chronic body aches disappeared. I had been struggling with severe back pain for 6 months or more. And, my ankles were sore in the mornings after getting out of bed, and after sitting for super extended periods of time. I'm only 43! I shouldn't feel like that.

Between the change in diet and finally adding collagen powder to my daily routine, all the pain disappeared within 2 weeks. I have better mental clarity and feel more awake during the day as well. As a bonus, I really don't get super hungry anymore. I usually start my day by fasting until noon. And then I limit my meals to two between the hours of 12:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. Fasting can be a real benefit, just be sure that if you do it you still eat enough and get all the nutrients your body needs in those two meals.

Imperfection is Okay

Now, I hate to say it, but after those perfectly wonderful 8 months, I stumbled a bit. Paying this much attention to your diet, really is a "lifestyle." I got a bit tired of spending so much time tracking and preparing every meal. I took a break. And that is okay! I decided I was not going to beat myself up over it. Here I am, several months later, and though I did gain a few of those pounds back, I know what works. Back on the wagon I go.

I've been back for a month now, and feel pretty good. New this time around, is that I am also in the gym 3 days a week (typically). I'm back to losing steadily (because I still have a decent amount I want to lose), and feeling great. Cheers! Here's to the next 8 months.

¹ Fun fact. I was a blackjack dealer a lifetime ago on a riverboat casino in Indiana—fun for a while, but not nearly as glamorous as you might expect.

You have decided. Now is the time. You are ready to buy a home. What do you do first? How do you start? You see house advertisements all over the place on social media. Should you just scour the internet looking for a home? Read below for our top 10 reasons to hire an agent.

1. We have access to the MLS.

Okay, we know you can search Zillow, Realtor.com, or a myriad of other websites to find homes for sale, but did you know that these third party sites often have highly inaccurate information? For example, simple information like the availability of a particular home is commonly inaccurately recorded—i.e., is it even still on the market? This is especially true in super-hot markets where homes sell very quickly. Guess what, Raleigh? You are a super-hot seller's market!

Your Realtor® has access to what we call the MLS, the Multiple Listing Service. This is the go-to place for up-to-date, more expansive, information that you will need when navigating the process of searching for a home. When you are searching for a home—especially in a crazy hot market like we have—you need access to . . . ALL THE THINGS! Can you see the impressive hand-wavy gestures we are making?

2. We open the door for you.

It seems simple enough, but have you ever thought about how you are going to get inside the home for which you are interested? Part of a buyer’s agent’s job is to provide you access to candidate homes. Without an agent acting as a chaperone, you won’t be able to get inside the home to see if it fits your needs.

3. We work on your behalf.

Some people, usually those finding a home on a third party website, just call the listing agent to view the home. While that can get you inside, you need to know that the listing agent is representing the seller and their best interests. You are the buyer. It is vital that you have your own representation. If you go into a house with a seller’s agent, and just LOVE this and LOVE that about the home, you are losing valuable negotiating ground with every “ooh!” and “ahh!” in the event you make an offer on that home. And just like when talking to the police, "Anything you say can and will be used against you." If you are a buyer, never ever be open and frank with a seller's agent. Let a buyer's agent manage that dialogue.

4. We know the market.

Realtors® work in this market every. single. day. They know roughly what the price points should be, what the average days on market are for each area, whether there are bike trails nearby, whether there is (and the nature of) the local nightlife? Did you notice the unchecked kudzu three properties away? Etc. etc. We do this day in and day out.

5. We hold your hand throughout the paperwork process.

You are buying a home, not an apple. There are a number of legal documents that you must use, sign, and abide by. If you have ever (or, never) gone through the home buying process, you should know there is a ton of paperwork that will be necessary. It can often get confusing and it is easy to make a misstep. Your agent will be certain to make sure no document is overlooked or left behind.

6. We negotiate.

Are you interested in that home in that popular subdivision in Raleigh that is selling for $225,000? Great! So are 15 other people. And they all had their offer in before yours. How do you handle that? In reality, this happens every day. Especially at this price point. A good buyer’s agent will help you write a strong and competitive offer, with terms you are comfortable with that will hopefully win you the prize. If they are a great buyer’s agent, they will have already made a phone call to the seller’s agent to gauge what is important to the seller that will help craft how your offer is structured and articulated. And—often under-appreciated and we can't emphasize this enough—an agent is not emotionally attached to the house. Your agent will help you avoid making ill-advised, unwise, emotional decisions.

In this market—a seller's market—sometimes with even the most skilled and well crafted offer, you still won't win the home. There were 15 others vying for it, also leveraging skilled agent guidance, and it is often a hard fought battle. Your agent will help pick you up, dust you off, and get back out there to find the next one.

7. We know all the people.

As Realtors® we know loads of service folks. Need a quality plumber? Check. Need an electrician? Double check. Need a structural engineer? Need an expert who can move that window three feet to the left and make it look like it was originally built that way? Need to get a valuation on that half-acre of timber? Check Check Check! Would you know how to find that person?

We quickly get to know all manner of service providers in this industry, be it from personal experience, or through our colleagues. If you have a need, we can find a guy (or gal) to help!

8. We are by your side. We are your advocate.

A buyer’s agent will be with you from start to finish. We will help you find the home, get you in the door, get you under contract, help coordinate inspections, and be with you at the closing table. We are your advocate. We will be there to help you navigate the process. It is our job to make everything go as smoothly as possible. Sometimes the process has bumps along the way. We work in tandem with you, will hold your hand, and help you through it.

9. We will help you record your memorable event for posterity.

It’s closing day. Do you want to take that adorable picture of being handed the keys? Standing in front of the home? Pushing your friend into the pool? That’s our job. We’re all amateur photographers . . . okay, emphasis on amateur . . . but we love taking pictures of you to share with your friends and family to share your excitement.

Yes, we will share them as well, but only with your permission of course. We’ll become friends in most cases, and can’t wait to share in your joy.

10. We’re FREE.

Yes, you read that correctly! F.R.E.E. We saved the best for last. In most cases in NC, our fees are paid for by the seller. So you, dear buyer, can focus on saving up for that first mortgage payment.

Are you, or anyone you know, ready to start their home search? Reach out to us and give us a call today.

You don't blog already!?! What!?!

Okay, okay, we hear you, O Internet. We don't know about you guys, but we hear the refrain over and over again: if you aren't blogging somewhere, you really aren't utilizing all the tools available that can help you succeed in this business (Real Estate). So, here we are. We have jumped on the bandwagon and created this little blog.

Who are we?

We are Todd and Monica, husband-and-wife duo. We are both Realtors®. But we are also farmers. We live on our own little homestead, Tandem Farms. We raise sheep, chickens, honey bees, ducks, and our beloved dogs; and several stray cats (and raccoons!) that found their way into one of our sheds. The shed, with a cat/raccoon-sized hole in the bottom of the door, has thusly been dubbed "kitty paradise" (or more whimsically, "the cat house"). Those cats (and raccoons) have it made! One whole shed, filled with beds—heated in the winter, no less!—water, food … they literally have it made. They keep rodents away and we pay them back with room and board. Fair trade.

We have dabbled in real estate in some form or fashion for over 10 years now. Our first foray was as landlords and an investment property. We then became advisers to a friend with his own investment property. Eventually, we then took the next logical step …

Monica caught the realty bug in 2016 and finally decided to follow her dream of helping others find their own little slice of paradise. Then, after 2 years of Monica's endless stories and excitement about the goings on in her new role, Todd decided to retire from the corporate world and join her in this new adventure. While Monica focuses mainly on residential real estate, Todd has also become quite skilled in land deals. Todd's farming experience translated naturally to real estate where he brings a unique depth of knowledge that is surprisingly rare among brokers. Together, they formed Tandem Realty—aka the Tandem Realty team (T-and-M, Todd-and-Monica; see what we did there?)—proudly affiliated with Navigate Realty of Raleigh.

What might we post about?

Our goal is to make this blog personal as well as professional. I.e., we will endeavor to avoid endlessly pitching to you, dear reader, at every turn. Now, don't be confused, we love real estate, and being agents, we love what we do, and thus we will be sharing real estate posts about houses/land/home improvement etc; but we will also be incorporating all sorts of fun into our little slice of the web here by writing about things that happen here on the farm (the sheep can be quite comical), tips-and-tricks for the home, general thoughts and musings, and well … just about whatever we feel would be of value or interesting to you but also scratches our own personal expressive itch. Thank you for reading, and we hope you keep coming back to join us on our new journey!

-todd and monica

If you haven't bought a home yet, you're missing out on a wonderful feeling! That moment when you walk through your doors, throw your purse or keys on the floor, plop down on your couch and breathe a sigh of relief while thinking, "Finally, it's ours!" or "Finally, it's mine!" And the frustrated joy of looking at all those boxes, rolling your eyes at buying way too much stuff, then finally giving yourself a moment to take a nap because you worked hard to get here and earned it! Yes that's a real feeling!

We often hear about the cost effectiveness of home ownership. From the financial soundness of equity build-up as we approach our retirement years, to the plethora of other ways owning a home can be a positive impact on our bottom dollar. But we don't often hear about the emotional impact owning a home can have. Yes there will be days the fridge is acting silly and you need to see if that home warranty was worth it, or days you have to get outside to mow your own yard (YOUR lawn), but nothing beats the pride and joy of owning a home.

There is a sense of security, a sense of "this is mine and I worked my way up to this moment," that provides moments of bliss. The ability to do with your home as you see fit and the privacy it provides. It can't be beat.

Home ownership also gives you the ability to put down some roots—both figuratively and literally. You get to build memories, achieve milestones, and celebrate many a'holiday with your family, all of which have significance and build memories. Your neighbors become a part of your life as does the community within which you reside. A community of rentors are people coming and going, while a neighborhood of home owners are full of people invested in those who surround them. Deeper roots are planted with each potluck, every shared 4th of July and New Year's Eve get together, and though just a daily and yearly interaction.

Buying a home isn't only about the dollars and cents, it's also rooting in the satisfaction of owning something concrete that carves our your own place. It's about building memories. If you too have been longing for this, get in touch with a real estate agent, and make it happen. You owe it to yourself to make your dreams come true!